In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
