I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You're like the curious george of whores
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
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