Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
