I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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