How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
