You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's blow job season.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
