Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize