areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
