there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
