they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize