I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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