Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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