Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
