We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
