I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
40s are totally the cure
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
