Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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