Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
