If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
