Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
You just made me feel so damn special
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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