you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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