just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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