Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
