I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
