mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
