you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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