Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
