Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
