I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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