True but thats because hes a fetus.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize