i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
