DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
