i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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