My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize