oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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