Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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