no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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