We're facebook friends in real life
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
