you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
