Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
This is not my ceiling
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
