Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
