I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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