you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
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