Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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