The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i came on her dog
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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