Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
my nose is crying tears of wow.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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