Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
