im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
