Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
