Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
