I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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