My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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