the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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