Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
