He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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