I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
